Normal Days #30

Fade to Black

So what, I just show up after 6 months & start writing/venting out again. Well, I guess it is better to write here than scare away the friends. I was thinking to do it more often but when you stay away from someone or something for a lil long you start avoiding them, start dreading what you'd say when you'd meet & hence one day you become strangers. The good thing about these blogs or journals or any other things like these is they don't leave you. They don't avoid you.

I know I've no idea what am i writing but I need to write this coz I want to say whatever things I want to coz being in social atmosphere for long I might be behaving like some normal ppl but I know general population doesn't like me much & the feeling is mutual. I'd rather be alone, with books on some island than amidst the crowd & try to mix with 'em. I've been trying to do that for last 6 months but I've known since long it was futile & in the end it was the same. I'm still socially awkward.

But I've learned a lot these past six months actually. I've learned how to detach myself from a asocial gathering, if not physically then mentally. I might sound like a I'm all over the place with these random blabbering and this is what I exactly want. I want to express everything which is on my mind. I should have done it sooner though. Fading to black amidst the crowd isn't the way to get accepted & I'm done being that way. Let the alter ego of me take over & I can watch the destruction from afar, as an innocent bystander.

Feels good to write after all these days. I won't promise but I'll try to be a regular here. This is me & anyone I wanna be here, amidst the white of the paper & black of the ink (in this case typed word on screen). Wait for me :)

(To be Contd..)